Remembering A Hero

Last evening our family went to a calling for Sgt. 1st Class Spencer Kohlheim. I have known Spencer since I was young. Our parents graduated together and Spencer and I went to CCD classes together in LaGrange, IN. As we have aged, our families intertwined even more as his son Tristan and our son Hunter go to school together and played football together together this year. Tim has been friends with Spencer's brother, Ryan, as they went to high school together. Spencer enlisted in the US Army not long after he graduated high school. He was deployed overseas 7 times. Three of the deployments were in Iraq and one in Afganistan. His obituary listed the NUMEROUS medals and honors he has received, including 2 Purple Hearts. Our paths have crossed a few times over the past years. Spencer was found on Friday by his grandmother. He had unfortunately taken his own life. He leaves behind 3 sons and a daughter, his mother and father, 2 sisters and a brother, as well as many other family and friends.

Please excuse my disorganized thoughts. I feel as though I have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head. Thoughts of sadness, of regret, of remembrance and of understanding. I am sad that he was so desperate that he felt he needed to take his own life. I am sad for his family, most especially his children. I regret not knowing him better. I regret not letting him know how thankful I am that he work to maintain my freedom. I take so much for granted here in small town north east Indiana. I regret not thanking others in my life for serving our country and protecting our freedoms. I remember the few times I was able to talk with Spencer. I in a way I can understand where Spencer was at. I too have been at a point in my life when I contemplated not living this life anymore. Our situations are very different. My life experiences can not even compare to Spencer's. He has experienced and seen things I will never be able to imagine. One thing that brought back so many of my memories was last evening in the car on our way to the viewing. We were explaining the situation to Hunter and Emily. We were talking about suicide. The kids were experiencing it from an innocent and Christian perspective and I was remembering my past experience. They were talking about people who kill themselves being stupid, knowing that taking our own life is not something Jesus would want us to do. I had to bite my tongue not to snap too quickly at the remark. I was unable to explain myself immediately because we were almost there. We did come back to the conversation on the way home and I was able to explain to them that people who kill themselves are not stupid, but need help. I explained that I was at that point many years ago when I was still in college. I was able to get the help I needed and continue to work with and through my depression on a daily basis. This time of year is much harder. If it were all up to me, I would crawl into my bedroom with the remote control, my computer and several blankets and come out very little. I would prefer to keep the curtains shut and no lights on. It is work to leave the house and go out for much. Going out for family outings is much easier than going out to meet up with friends or do anything for me. Medicine and prayer have made it less difficult though. I wish it would have been different for Spencer. He was an American Hero.

Father, bless the Kohlheim family and all the others who are close to this situation. May you be known better through this sadness. Amen.

Spencer is on the right. The others are from his company.

Congratulations, Tim!

Yup, he did it. Tim received confirmation this morning that he passed his last test! He is now officially finished with 18 months of class and studying as well as over 1000 hours of clinical time. On top of that he has continued to be a great father and husband and worked on remodeling our home. God really gave me a good one! I am so blessed! To brag on him a little more, when I got home from Indy on Thursday evening, he was out chauffering the kids and the house was picked up, the floors were swept AND the laundry and the dishes were done! Thanks Tim for all you do for us! We love you!

Me & the kids!

Yipeeeeeeee yet again!

Tim has now passed 3 of his 4 tests! He just phoned and said that he passed his practical for the National Registry. He had been testing since about 8 this morning and it is now about 4 pm! Thanks to all of you who are praying for him!

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee x2!

Just talked to Tim and he has successfully passed his paramedic class!! Half way there. He now has his National Registry practical exam on Saturday and his National Registry written exam on Monday! The end is so close!

Out of Town

I am sitting here in my hotel room in Indy after spending the day learning about seating and positioning for all the kids I work with every day. There is so much potential there and some of these kids are sitting so poorly. I am making a list of the kids I really need to get in with to spend some time and let them learn and see just how much they can really do. Wow is about all I can say at this point. I am looking forward to the lab portion tomorrow when we work with each other on changing positions. I can't believe how fast the day went. Many of the courses I have attended in the past have been hard to sit through since I am not typically sitting all day, but up and moving around and sitting or laying on the floor with my students. This speaker was able to capture my attention and keep it all day! I am so excited to get back and get to work with my kiddos. It is geared toward my students with the more severe disabilities. The one's that so many just "don't know what to do with." So hopefully I will be able to go back and show some of the teachers and instructional assistants just how much some of these kids are capable of! It's also been good to just hang out with so many of my colleagues in a non-work environment.
I am however missing Tim, Hunter and Emily. It is good to get away and let go of some to the day to day responsibilities I have but it is also sometimes hard to let go and let someone else be responsible. All a part of learning that God is the one in control, not me.

Speechless

I know. You all are wondering what can leave Renee Christner speechless this morning. I have been waiting to watch the video from Danni Frain's funeral that is posted on her blog until it was quiet and I was alone. It has left me speechless this morning. I am posting the link to the blog here and I have also added it to the blogs I follow. I have inconsistently followed this blog over the past year or so. Danni recently passed away and is now free from all the pain and sadness she experienced while here on earth. Danni was a young woman who had cancer and her mom began blogging to keep others updated throughout Danni's days. I only know the family indirectly through connections with Tim's family and other Westview families. I stand in awe of the love that Danni and her family have for Jesus. What strong women! If you are interested in reading the blog, I recommend you find a quiet place with a box of kleenex. I am still speechless as I sit here so I will end here and let God speak to whoever will listen.
http://dannifrain.blogspot.com/

YIPEEEEEEEEE!!

Just so excited that I can't keep it to myself! Tim called me earlier today (at my request) to let me know that he passed his written test for his Paramedic class. One down and 3 to go. He has his class practical exam on Saturday and then the National Registry written and practical exams next week.
We also had a great family moment this morning. I gathered up the kids and we stood around Tim and prayed for him. Not something we do frequently, I am sad to say. The feeling that I sensed we all had after the family prayer was so great!
Congrats, Tim! I love you and am so proud of your hard work and dedication!

Vocabulary Lesson

I had to smile this morning as I was getting ready. (Sure do like those 2 hour delays by the way!) Anyway, Emily was talking and I decided I needed to capture the vocabulary of my 9 year old princess. She frequently uses the word "thingamajigga." This does not do the pronunciation justice!

thingamajigga--(thing-uh-mu-jeg-uh)-n.-used to describe an item whose name can't immediately be recalled. Is ALWAYS accompanied by many descriptive words to help the listener understand what the thingamajigga is!

Hope you are all enlightened by my attempt at increasing your vocabulary and ability to communicate with the next generation!

Thankfulness

Why is it that we are so focused on being thankful this time of year and not every day? I have had the opportunity to be in my van by myself more over the past few days and this has allowed me some time to think and reflect. I am going to try to be more thankful each day and not just when the holiday reminds me to. Since it is Thanksgiving Day, though I find it appropriate to reflect here some of the people and situations in my life that I am thankful for here.
I am thankful for...
...a husband who believes in God, has a relationship with Jesus and loves me in spite of myself.
...a son who loves Jesus and baseball and is self confident enough to not follow the crowd.
...a daughter who is creative and unknowingly thinks I am a perfect role model.
...a van that now has heat because of a husband who cares about me enough to set aside his to do list to replace the thermostat even though he is not a mechanic.
...a house that is truly a home because of the people who live here and the hard work of a husband who has a vision and the desire to see the vision through.
...parents, in-laws and grandparents that provide role models to stick it through the tough times of a marriage.
...jobs for myself and my husband that are stable in this time of such uncertainty in the economy.
... so much more that I must list later because it is time to get ready to celebrate this day with so many of those that I am thankful for!

School Pictures

I'm finally back. I have been keeping up with other blogs, but have not been doing well at updating this. Life has been busy as usual, no different from the rest of you. Emily is now taking gymnastics at a different gym and still LOVES it. Hunter is between sports for now. He played football this year and has decided that football is not for him. He is talking about going out for soccer next year. He and Tim have been having some guy time the last two weekends down by Bloomington, IN. They have gone down there to hunt. Hunter got a muzzleloader for Christmas last year and has been excited to be able to go out this year to do more than just watch. Neither Tim nor Hunter got anything and they didn't see much, but they both said they had fun. They are planning to go out but within an hour from home over the Thanksgiving weekend. Emily and I had girls night in and watched movies on Friday night. Then Saturday night we went to a Creative Memories get together and I learned how to use my Memory Manager software I got a couple years ago for Christmas. Wow! I learned so much and am loving playing with it. Then after a wee bit of shopping, we went to Hacienda for chips, salsa and a chocolate mountain mud slide! Yum. Scott, I'm sure you are jealous.

I am posting the kids' school pics here today and hope to get copies out over the holidays.

Been Awhile

Okay, so I'm finally sitting back down to update the blog. We were gone for a little over a week for our annual trip to Romeo, MI to attend Simpson Park Family Camp. What a great week. The internet was not working well, so I was not able to check my email while there. It was a good break for me as I tend to spend too much time on this computer doing pretty much nothing. One of the sermons we heard with the youth program, the speaker had us write down what holds us back, our sins or something that blocks our relationship with God on an index card and throw it away symbolizing giving it up and giving it to God. I wrote down computer and laziness. So now the few readers I have out there know and can keep me accountable. We had a great week and had great weather. More stories for another time. Especially the one about the song Tim's guys wrote about him, "Ode To The Chrome Dome."

We returned to Indiana on Sunday evening. Monday was spent doing LAUNDRY! And lots of it. Tuesday was more of the same and just reorienting ourselves to being home. Wednesday I worked. The past two days Trevor and Megan (my neice and nephew) were here with us. And, Scott, I did take some pictures so will post a few now. We had a GREAT time. I asked Megan if she was ready to go home this afternoon and she said, "No." Made me feel so good that they enjoyed themselves here, even though the boat is not working again!

My neice and nephew, Megan and Trevor

Love this pic

Serious about her wiffel ball!

Seroious conversation with Trevor and Emily.

Posing for a pic!

Serious conversaion with Hunter and Megan!

Random Thoughts

Lots has been happening around the Christner house. We have had a house full of boys since Wednesday. Two years ago at Simpson Park Camp, Hunter met Jake and Luke Champion. They live in Lapeer, MI. Last summer, Hunter could hardly wait to get to camp to see Jake and Luke again. On Wednesday we drove about half way to their house and met them with their mom and they have been staying with us. What a couple of great boys! I love the relationship we are building with them. I say we because they are not just hanging out with Hunter, but the 3 boys have included Emily in what they are doing and recognize that she is younger and is a girl when they have been rough-housing. We were also joking around and I told Jake that he couldn't have something because it said "family" on the bag and he said "But I am family." He is so right. I feel like Emily has 3 big brothers that will watch out for her now. We have all laughed so much the last few days. Things are winding down and we will be taking them back home tomorrow. One of them counted the days until camp tonight. It was cool to see them looking forward to seeing each other again.

Em has been busy too. She has been at a friend's house this week and is now staying with Aunt Amy, Uncle Dave and Jackson for 2 nights. Tomorrow she will go back to Vernon and Erma's with Jackson while Amy goes to work. She is excited to go back and see everyone.

I think we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with paramedic class for Tim. I am so proud of him for all the hard work he has done and continues to do for this class. He will be finished in December. He is just finishing the module on Cardiac Emergencies. This has been the toughest yet. He has to look at an EKG strip and decide what is happening with the heart and determine what actions to take. For example, is it a shockable rhythm and what meds should be given?

As for me, well, I am beginning to feel a little closer to God again. I have to admit that I have not put much effort into that relationship over the past several months. To be honest, I haven't put much effort into any relationships recently. I have been just sort of "coasting" along through the days. I am ready to find some of myself again and put some effort into things again. I must say though that I really don't want to put the work in. I really struggle with this. Most of you know that I have depression and take medication to help with the symptoms. The meds work wonders. I feel like any little thing used to just set me off and I would get so upset about things being out of order or a change in "MY PLAN" and now I have a hard time sticking to a plan and my attitude is that "I will do it later." I have described it feeling like a pendulum with one side being super uptight (before meds) and the other side being very relaxed, not really caring about much and being lazy (after meds.) I feel myself getting back toward the center, but know that I have quite a ways to go before I am where I want to be. I don't really have much else to say tonight, so I will end by posting a few pictures of the past few days.

Who Knew...

Who knew...that football lessons could happen on the lake. That is what Tim and Hunter are doing in the following pictures. Tim was teaching Hunter how to tackle his opponent and be sure to bring him down. We'll see how much Tim really knows this fall, since Tim played soccer in school.

Who knew...that the girls would have so much fun today. We had several girls over for Girls Club from our church. It is a group of girls in 3rd through 6th grades that get together once a month to do something. This month we had a get together at our house. We grilled hot dogs and swam. We also played board games and Guitar Hero while it stormed outside. I will now be taking this group over as the current leader's daughter will be in 7th grade this fall.

The girls swam out to the middle of the lake using the kick boards.

Who knew...that such a simple picture could be so beautiful! I love this picture of Emily's piggys next to her sand castle!

Tonight we are off to another ball game!

Finally...

Okay. Finally logging in to update the blog. Not much new to report. We had a great 4th of July weekend. The weather was incredible and I learned that I am not necessarily as young as I feel anymore. On Friday we went to our friends, Anne and Glen's, for the day and I went tubing. The hardest part was getting back on the tube after wiping out! Not near as easy as it used to be!

Too cute not to post. A couple weeks ago, we spent the afternoon at Amy and Dave's (Tim's sister) and went swimming. This is our nephew Jackson.
Hunter wanted to make cookies one afternoon, so we got everything out and made good old chocolate chip cookies.

Our newest friend, Daisy the duck. She is nesting in our yard by the lake. She started out with 7 eggs, but there are only 5 left in the nest. Jake wants to be friends with her, but she keeps running/flying away every time he tries to check her out. She will stay until he gets into the weeds. I am amazed at how close she allows us to get to her.

Emily showing off her braces. I don't know if you can tell or not, but she got purple/lavendar put onto them!

My boys hanging out at Anne and Glen's.
One of my favorite recent pictures!

Anne and Glen's. We spent the day by the lake relaxing, playing, eating and boating!

Anne and Glen's daughter, Lucy. She is so much like Emily! She's into dressing up and talks as much as Em, too. Didn't know that was possible!

The day was completed by sitting around the campfire eating Smores. There were also lots of fireworks. Many people at the lake shot off fireworks, plus we could see the display from Angola. This is Em with Katie, Anne and Glen's oldest. Their youngest, Sara, was at her Grandparents for the day, so no pictures of her. There were LOTS of people there! Probably 8 to 10 families!

Saturday was spent between the baseball diamond and hanging out on our beach with Scott, Wendy, Trevor, Megan (my brother and his family) and my parents. Sorry I didn't get any pictures of that.

Sunday we worked on the beach and moving rocks out of the swimming area up to the shore. Later in the afternoon, Tim's family came out for a boat ride and supper.

Hopefully I can be better about updating this page! I am also asking for prayers for our friend Holly. She is having dizziness, nausea and headaches and doesn't have any answers as to why yet. We know her from Simpson Park Camp, where we will be going in a couple of weeks.

A Day In the Life

Today was a day at the lake. What a life. A life we are so blessed to have!

After breakfast and getting a couple things done around the house, Hunter and Tim went fishing. This is the neighbor's boat because ours was not working real well earlier today.

Our daily visitors.

A view of our house from the lake/beach. Eventually the house and garage will be attached. Our next project for the summer will hopefully be new windows in the rest of the house and residing the house. Renee's choice for color is barn red!

Jake LOVES chasing the ball in the water, lying in the water, swimming in the water, riding the boat on the water. He just plain LOVES the water!

It's been a good day! Good night, Jake!

My Son the Ball Player

Hunter had a game tonight. I love going to his games and watching him play! He went 5 for 5 tonight and played his regular 3rd base. We won 16-4 in 5 innings. I finally remembered my camera tonight.

Hunter's last hit of the night. A solid hit down the left field line.

And he is safe at home!

Next game is not until next Tuesday, so it will hopefully be a weekend of sun and fun on the lake!

1st Blog

I have been enjoying reading other blogs so I have decided to try one myself. I figure this might be a way to keep others updated on the happenings in the Christner household. Currently life has a lot of baseball. We are about 1/2 way through the season. Hunter hit his first homerun last week and got to keep the ball. It was pretty cool to see. Unfortunately Tim had to work that day and didn't get to see it, but he definitely had a phone call from me during the game and a call from Hunter after. I was one proud mother!
Emily had a consultation appointment with the orthodontist this morning and will be getting braces on June 30th. She seems to be pretty excited about it.
Tim is busy with work, paramedic class and working on the house.
Running kids, organizing the house and just plain relaxing have been keeping me pretty busy. I so enjoy having the majority of my summer off with the kids, especially now that we live at the lake. It is like being on vacation every day!